Elevator Speech

After two recent homeschool gatherings, where I somehow couldn't manage to explain unschooling coherently, I realized I need an "elevator speech". This is a concept I first heard about in our former UU church (UUism is another thing that's hard to explain!). If I was riding in an elevator with someone, and they asked me what unschooling was, would I be able to describe it clearly and positively in 50 words or less, before the elevator doors open?

At our last park day, there were two moms brand new to homeschooling. As one of the only unschoolers there, I felt like it was my job to advocate for unschooling, and I failed miserably. I saw the look of confusion on one mom's face as I tried to explain it, and then came the question: "Wait a minute--so you don't make him do anything?? At all? What do you DO all day?" The other mom seemed to be listening intently, and nodding, and then said, "I've heard Calvert is really good." Aaarrgh!

To further muddy the waters, I've come to realize that there's a big difference between people who are just unschooling academics (an oxymoron if ever there was one), and whole-life unschoolers like us. I've been so steeped in the RU (Radical Unschooling, another term for whole-life unschooling) lifestyle the last few months, that I forget that most of the moms I'm talking with in real life have never even heard the term. They're just trying to wrap their minds around not using a curriculum, and here I am babbling on about unconditional parenting and no bedtimes, and god knows what else. Let's edge away slowly from the crazy lady, dear.....

So. My mission for today is to create my "elevator speech" so that when unsuspecting newbies ask me about unschooling, I don't scare them away. Does anybody have a good one I can use?

Adventures in Salem, Mass.

After the conference ended on Sunday afternoon, we decided to go exploring in nearby Salem, since I'm interested in all things witchy. What a cool town! We didn't see as much as there is to see--not enough time, plus a lot of things were closed due to Sunday blue laws--but we saw enough to want to visit again sometime...preferably at Halloween!

First stop was Artist's Row, a brick alley lined with little galleries and shops, and an open-air cafe at the end.

Then we walked around this very old cemetery for a while, reading the gravestones. There were so many children! It was heartbreaking. One poor family lost a different child three years in a row. Can you imagine? It makes you thankful for modern medicine.

This looked like some kind of spellwork to me. These shoes were filled with salt, and a small note (which we didn't read or disturb), under a tree in the cemetery.

Adjacent to the graveyard, there's a stone memorial for all the people who were executed in the Salem witch trials. They were all hung, except for this poor guy, who was pressed to death. We speculated as to the exact nature of the execution, and why he was so unfortunate, and we found our answer in a children's book we bought later in the day: they laid him down in a field, placed a wooden board on his chest, then piled the board with heavy rocks. Why? Because he had the gall to plead "not guilty." I used to know all this....must watch The Crucible again!

A kind stranger took this photo for us.

Our new friends, Debbie and Johnny Evil. (Is that a great name, or what?? It's real, he showed us his license.) We bonded with them because Ely was wearing his Steelers jersey and Johnny is a fellow Steelers fanatic. In Salem, of all places! They told us we HAVE to come back in October, that Salem in October is like Mardi Gras every night. (The stores are decorated for Halloween all year round.) Plus, Ely, Johnny, and Debbie all have birthdays in October, and our wedding anniversary is in October. It's one of the advantages of being married to such an extrovert--we make friends wherever we go.

This was a beautiful wooden schooner docked at the waterfront and open for free tours.

Logan thought this was a stripper pole. How does my 7-yr.-old even know there's such a thing as a stripper pole? Because his friend Damien's mom has one in her bedroom! Thanks a lot, Damien's mom.

My boys. I love this pic.

This one, too.

Lots of touristy, macabre photo ops.

Our First Conference!

Ely told the kids to "strike a pose."

Kandee Wright and Dayna Martin, and their very comfy babies

Keith Wright, Eli Gerzon, Ely, and Joe Martin

Me and Dayna

Last weekend, Ely, Logan and I went to Wakefield, Mass. for our very first unschooling conference. It was so empowering to finally meet other families actually living this way. To be honest, I already knew most of the nuts-and-bolts, how-to-unschool stuff from all the reading I've done. I get it. This conference, for me, was all about forging a real connection to the unschooling community in a way that the internet just cannot do. We met so many amazing people. I came away energized and galvanized, more sure than ever that unschooling is the way to go for our family. Plus, it was just so much fun!

Some random impressions and memories:

--an adorable little girl strumming her plastic guitar at the talent show

--all the confident, outgoing, interesting teens and young adults

--Logan joyfully being chased down the hall by his new friends, all chanting his name

--Ely bonding with other unschooling dads, and realizing that maybe I'm not so crazy with this unschooling thing, after all

--enjoying the very talented unschooled singer songwriter Julian Baptista, and the unschooled Ryan siblings' Irish folk band, Fishing with Finnegan

--listening to Dayna Martin's talk on Sunday morning with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes because her words hit so close to home

--sitting on the floor late into the night, drinking, laughing, and talking with other unschooling moms

--actually winning some cool stuff at the auction!

--not wanting it to end

Swarms of Books and Flying Ants

I see that somehow almost three weeks have gone by since my last post! When I disappear from my blog for weeks at a time, you can safely assume I've been on a book jag. Let's see....what have I read in the last few weeks? Radical Unschooling by Dayna Martin (AMAZING, and I will write a review here and on Amazon when I have more time), The Strain by Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan (devoured it in two days), Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn (I need to get the DVD and make my husband watch because he's not really getting what I'm doing), Amazing Grays by Maggie Rose Crane (about embracing aging), and now I'm halfway through Julie and Julia by Julie Powell (I'm on a major foodie kick). Still on my to-be-read stack are three new Tarot books, two Wicca books, Queen of Broken Hearts by Cassandra King, two books by Byron Katie (I want to see what all the fuss is about "the Work"), and Heat by Bill Buford (another foodie memoir). And that's not even counting the paperback I started to read in Borders the other day called This Little Mommy Stayed Home by Samantha Wilde (daughter of one of my favorite writers Nancy Thayer) which had me drawing stares from strangers because I was laughing so hard. I put it back on the shelf because it wasn't in the budget that day, but I keep thinking about it. Hilarious!

So, what with my heavy reading schedule and all, you can see why it's difficult to find time to post here. Also, every computer in the house is not working at the moment, except the one I'm currently writing this post on, Chelsea's itty bitty laptop. Four people sharing one computer is not pretty.

In other news, we've been invaded by swarms of flying ants. We've lived in this house for 18 years, and have had our share of critter problems (on my old blog, I wrote about The Great Squirrel Infestation of 2004), but flying ants are a first. Yesterday Logan and I went online to determine that they were, in fact, flying ants and not termites. They're definitely ants, which I suppose is slightly better than termites, but still not great. They could be carpenter ants, and they're definitely coming from under the house. We learned that this swarming behavior will only last a few days--they're basically emerging to mate and then die--but that doesn't change the fact that we have a colony of ants living in our crawlspace that is eventually going to have to be exterminated.

I guess we'll add "exterminator" to the list of stuff we need to save for, after computer repairs, a new central air system (or at least some freon before it gets really hot), and spending money for our trip to the NE Unschooling Conference next month. Actually, I have our money situation well in hand these days, but it would be nice to have a month or two go by without some kind of unexpected expense. You would think that after 18 years as a homeowner I would learn to expect the unexpected!

Book Sharing Monday

Logan and I just finished one of my all-time favorite books from childhood. It was the first chapter book I ever read by myself, The Phantom Tollbooth by Norton Juster. First published in 1961, it introduces us to a bored and apathetic little boy named Milo, and what happens after he comes home from school one day to find a package containing a mysterious tollbooth in his bedroom. Having nothing better to do, he climbs into his little toy car, unfolds the enclosed map of The Lands Beyond ("Beyond what?" Milo wonders), and drives through the booth into a magical land where he befriends the huge dog Tock and the ever-anxious Humbug. Before he knows it, he and his new companions are embarking on a dangerous and difficult quest through the Kingdom of Wisdom to save a pair of exiled princesses.

For someone like me, who loves words so much I could eat them up (and in the city of Dictionopolis, they can!), this story is a smorgasbord of clever wordplay that is great fun to read aloud with your kids. The story is just as magical as I remembered, and the illustrations by Jules Feiffer are terrific, especially the map of The Lands Beyond at the front of the book. Logan referred to it again and again to determine where exactly the action was taking place.

Highly recommended for bibliophiles of all ages.

A Born Superstar

I am a very happy girl today, and this is why:

This boy is pure perfection in every way. I haven't been this obsessed with a celebrity since my crush on Bobby Sherman when I was 8 years old.

I said it the first time I laid eyes on him and heard him sing, and I'll say it again--Adam Lambert is going to be a huge star. I'm finally over the fact that he didn't win...after all, it's not Kris on the cover of Rolling Stone is it??

Connecting with others

Last week, Logan and I went to a homeschool outing to historic Cold Spring Village and met some other homeschoolers in the area. We even met some other unschoolers! My plan is to start an unschooling group based here in South Jersey, and so far I've corresponded with about six other parents who expressed an interest. I'm still mulling over my vision for the group, but I know I'd like to include regular support gatherings, casual playdates or park days for the kids, a Yahoogroups discussion list, a lending library, and information for newbies (when I'm no longer a newbie myself!). I was a La Leche League leader for several years, and that's a support model I like and with which I'm familar. I'm also going to look into Unschooling United, founded by Dayna Martin. It's a network of local unschooling support groups led by facilitators, which sounds very similar to LLL in concept, although I would imagine facilitators would need more than a month-and-a-half of experience! She has a Yahoogroup for people who are interested in facilitating, so the first step is becoming a member and joining that group. I really do believe that, just as with breastfeeding, good information and a support network are key to sticking with unschooling for the long haul.